You Have Not Because You Ask Not

Here’s the thing. I think we like to throw these phrases/verses out and we don’t truly understand them.

This verse, in James chapter 4 starting off in verse 1 it says:

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet, you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong-you want only what will give you pleasure. (James 4:1-3)

I find it interesting that when I started out with the idea to write about this, “You have not, because you ask not” my intention was to simply say-when you spend time with God, you get more; and when I read the title of this section it was titled “Drawing Close to God”.

I used to ask God for so many things, before I truly knew him. Some things I thought seemed like a good thing, but perhaps they were manipulative, selfish. It’s really hard to say. I think we all want to be genuine in our prayers to God, and I think a lot of times we think our motives are pure- but are we spending time with Him or are we just praying to Him? Is our relationship with Him only in prayer for the things we want to ask for?

Oftentimes, I feel like God shows me things through my parenting. 

I have one son and one daughter. My son, who is in his teens…well, he doesn’t like to run errands with me anymore. He hasn’t for quite some time. My daughter always wants to go with me. A lot of the time we are out and about, she gets a pop or a piece of candy. She just gets something a little extra. It’s not that I love her more. I love both of them just as a parent does. But she does get more. She gets more because she spends time with me. Does she get something every time? No. But let’s be honest, she just has a lot more opportunity for that when she is with me.  It doesn’t mean that my son isn’t watched over and taken care of. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t get what he needs, but he just doesn’t always get the “extra”. 

When we spend time with God, we get the “extra” and when we pray, because we spend time with Him, our motives are just more pure, they are more genuine because we reflect our Father when we have a relationship with Him. We want what He wants. When we do ask Him for something, He either answers that prayer, prepares us for that prayer, or He lets us know why that prayer is not something that aligns with His will. Just like when I am spending time with my daughter, she knows when she is going to get something and when she isn’t and because of the relationship we have, she is okay either way. Another thing about our relationship is that if she doesn’t understand, she asks why. And we can do that too!