Jumping In

Jumping In

You know when you were a kid, and you were learning to swim? Your parents would be beside you, or maybe they were already in the water encouraging you to jump in. They probably said, “you can trust me; it’s going to be okay.” Do you remember that feeling you had? You really wanted to jump in, but you weren’t sure how deep it was going to be and even though you knew they would be there to catch you and to help you, you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. It was that feeling of excitement mixed with a little bit of fear. You would take some steps backwards and then you’d say “Okay, I’m going to do it, I’m going to jump in” followed by a quick walk to the ledge and a squeal. 

This is exactly the way that I felt when he was calling me out of my comfort zone. 

I had been praying for Him to take me to new depths. I had been asking him to “send me”. I had been telling him I wanted to walk in the purpose he has for me. He then started to prepare me. He started asking me questions in response to the questions I was asking. He was searching my heart and bringing things to my attention. 

I had always wanted to write a book but the closer I got to the end of the book, the more I started thinking about the next steps and I started to get nervous. How in the world was this book going to get promoted? If you know me well, you know that I don’t have Facebook or any social media. Years ago, I would find myself comparing myself too much to others. I also hated that I didn’t have any control over how other people would comment. At the time it was a healthy decision. I needed to cut it out so I could grow with the Lord and learn who he said I was. And I did. I haven’t been that insecure person in such a long time. When I asked Him how this book was going to get out there, He asked me, “Do you not have Facebook because you are hiding” Gulp! It took me by surprise because I always looked at not having Facebook as a good thing, but he was right. I was hiding from the world. Actually, I was hiding from the people I already had in my life. The people who knew my past. It’s funny because I could sit and talk to people all day long and naturally, God would end up being the center of the conversation. Not in a pushy way, I don’t really even offer advice unless it is asked for, but to make a video or put myself out there, this makes me nervous. 

I was on a walk talking to God about these plans. This is how the conversation went:

Me: “I am nervous and scared to post anything. I don’t know if I am ready.”

God: “You are never going to be perfect, but you are perfect for this.”

Me: (silent)

God: “Do you trust me?”

Me: (acting like a kid at the edge of the swimming pool with a little jump up and down) “ I do trust you; I do.”

God: “Will you take my hand and let me lead you to places you have not yet seen?”

Once you do jump in, you end up having so much fun. You may even find yourself wanting to jump in again and again. I find that when we trust Him and take the leap, we truly learn that He is for us and not against us. We learn that we can truly rely on Him no matter where He calls us or how deep the water is.